Help! Why is My Girlfriend Breaking Up With Me?

As the old saying goes – breaking up is hard to do – especially if the break up wasn’t your idea.  So your girlfriend has recently broken up with you.  You may be feeling sad, lonely or maybe even angry and resentful.  Most of all you may be feeling confused – why in the world did this happen??  Sometimes breakups are the hardest when we never saw them coming.  If this describes you then read on for help in understand the break up.

Reason One – It’s You

Though it is hard to admit could it be that the problem rest solely with you?  Were you thoughtful and considerate or controlling and critical?  Were you confident and interesting or needy and clingy?  Did you do things on a daily basis to keep the spark alive or did you let the relationship become stale and dull?  Or maybe you committed one of the more blatant relationship killers like infidelity (in which case you are probably not asking yourself why the break up occurred).  In any case you need to take some time and take stock in what you did to contribute to the break up.

Reason Two – It’s Her

Sometimes it is not what you did or didn’t do it is all about what the other person is doing.  Maybe she is distracted by work or friend or other obligations and just doesn’t have the energy or time to put into the relationship right now.  Maybe she had personal issues like she is insanely jealous for no good reason or maybe she has some crazy hang up with fidelity.  What ever her deal is remember you can’t change her.  You can only change yourself.  So give he space if it is needed or make changes in yourself if it is needed but don’t think you can beg or nag her into changing if she doesn’t want to change.

Reason Three – It’s Both of You

Sometimes it is not any one person but the combination of the two.  Maybe you two are just a bad fit.  Sometimes two perfectly nice people just bring out the worst in each other.  Is she the sweetest person with everyone else but turns into a nagging shrew around you.  Are you the funniest nicest guy around everyone else but turn into a passive aggressive jerk around her?  Does she bring out your controlling side?  Do you bring out her insecure side?  Sometimes good people are just not good for each other.  Unless both people are committed to serious change then it is just not going to work.

Reason Four – It’s Someone Else

This could probably fall under “It’s Her” or “It’s You” (depending on who invited the extra person to the party) but I want to talk about it separately.  Three people is clearly one too many in a relationship.  It just doesn’t work.  So if there is an extra person mucking things up then there is your answer as to why your girlfriend called it quits.  Both people have to be committed to a one-on-one relationship to give it a fighting chance.