Let’s Get Fit To Focus offers a free 52 week program that includes many tools to simplify your home life. We look at helping your child be more organized, more confident and more empowered to give their best effort, instead of giving up and blaming their ADD. Sure, you’ll find many articles about ADD online that give some advice, but that isn’t specific ADD help and advice that you can work through on a weekly basis. Each lesson focuses on a step you can help your child take, along with action steps, so you don’t have to wonder about how to implement the ideas.
Week 16 is just one of many examples of a specific behavior you can use and build upon for success and help controlling ADD. Week 16 talks about being specific when you talk to your child about their behavior.
Do you ever get feedback from your partner, boss or a friend that confuses you?
· Don’t be so sassy.
· You’re so disrespectful!
· Your behavior bothers me.
Yes, you can tell the other person isn’t happy with your behavior, and part of the problem is they are not being specific. How are you being sassy or disrespectful? And what behavior is the person talking about?
Do you tell your child or children things, with the purpose of redirecting them, that don’t give them much direction? For instance, “Don’t disrespect me.” The child may not know what they are doing exactly, so they can’t know how to change that behavior either. The ADD/ ADHD program offers help by showing how to explain the specific behavior. “Ann, when you fold your arms and sigh, I feel disrespected.”
“When you throw your things down after school, we end up tripping over bags, coats and shoes by the door. We also have a hard time finding what we need for homework after dinner.”
Another option is to tape the child’s behavior and show her. If she throws fits, tape it and let her see what it looks like. The trick is to not jump in and tell her why it’s wrong or how ugly it is. Just let her see what others see, and let her decide if she wants to talk about it. Even if she doesn’t discuss what she sees or how she feels about it, she’ll have a new perspective. It may come up later for discussion too.
You might notice this method empowers the child to take action and control of her behavior. Being specific can help your child grow!